Friday, August 9, 2002

“Name That Punishment” Winner

In my 7/24 post, I began a contest to find an apt punishment for David Horowitz’s self-admitted treason. I’m not vengeful, by any means; rather, I thought it was rather harsh for Horowitz to wish that traitor John Walker Lindh had been shot. In my view, this was particularly obnoxious not only because Horowitz himself has committed treason but also because at least Lindh was willing to put himself in a position where he could be held accountable for his misdeeds (and I am glad he was tried for his misdeeds). Horowitz, on the other hand, admitted that he consulted an attorney to skirt the Espionage Act. I had to laugh when I read about how Horowitz tried to make his cushy gig as a recipient of Scaife money seem like a hair shirt; Horowitz writes, “I have written about what I did (unlike so many others who did the same and didn't) and I regret it and am [sic] atempting to pay for it every day with my work.” God, it’s fun to mock the righteous right.

As I indicated, I’m not vengeful. I think it would be fine if Horowitz could stay in posh West LA. However, it would be my hope that his punishment would consist of wearing one of those orange vests and cleaning up litter along the beach while my surfer buddies and I mock him: “Hey, Horowitz, you missed a cigarette butt.” My punishment is similar to an entry in the contest, except that the entrant wanted Horowitz "to live in Compton as a welfare-to-work case, picking up cigarette ends while Nation of Islam security guards mock him."

Anyway, there were some other funny entries. Ruth writes: Horowitz should be forced to run errands, do the shopping, clean the toilet and otherwise fetch and carry for Hillary for life -- and be restricted to the following vocabulary, "Yes, Ma'am. Right away, Ma'am." John writes: “He should be forced to go around for the rest of his life wearing 1970 Bay Area radical chic outfits, perhaps including bell-bottom pants, platform shoes, and a fro comb in his remaining hair.” Gary’s idea of penance for Horowitz is “[f]act-checking Ann Coulter's columns, and posting daily results at Each posting would carry his e-mail and home address.”

The winner is Rob Attmore. His punishment isn’t particularly funny but is very apt: “The obvious appropriate punishment is to confine him for 20 years as Walker's cellmate. “ Horowitz and Lindh deserve each other. Congrats, Rob. I would like to thank Rob and the other participants for their amusing entries.

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