Wednesday, July 24, 2002

Name That Punishment Contest

Last week, in his blog, Horowitz expressed regrets about the John Walker Lindh plea bargain: “But personally, I wish John Walker Lindh had been shot.” I and others noted that Horowitz’s own admitted violation of the Espionage Act was much more serious than Lindh’s transgressions against his country. The next day, Horowitz responded to an e-mail by someone expressing similar thoughts: “I regret it and am [sic] atempting to pay for it every day with my work.” That’s rich. Horowitz believes that hanging out in West LA and doing Richard Mellon Scaife’s bidding is an adequate way of paying back society for committing a capital crime. That’s a rather convenient penance. Since Horowitz recently had a contest at Al Sharpton’s expense, I thought it would be fair to return the favor.

The Contest Rules

E-mail me at before August 1, 2002 with what you think would be an appropriate punishment for Horowitz’s treason and explain why you think it would be an appropriate punishment. Entries will be judged on humor and creativity. Don’t list capital punishment (even though, based on Horowitz’s logic regarding Lindh, he calls for his own execution). The point of the contest is to be funny. Plus, I don’t want Mickey Kaus to accuse me of encouraging hate speech.

The Prizes

When Horowitz announced the winner of his Sharpton contest, he wrote of a “prize winner,” even though he didn’t give out a prize—or at least he didn’t mention any prizes. That’s rather lame for someone who receives gobs of money from Scaife et al. and who is now selling a cut-and-paste book for $27.95. However, the winner of this contest will actually receive some prizes—totally rad ones at that. The prizes for the best entry are some cool things I got at the wild Goldmember world premiere after-party:

1. An exclusive video that I took at the Goldmember premiere after-party. Whenever I watch this video, I see it as a special kind of “f-you” to the puritan right.

2. A disco mirror ball that was given out as a party favor.

3. An embossed tin box of Churchill’s English Toffees (given out by Jaguar at the party).

4. A music CD: The Jaguar London Calling Collection (it has some righteous British Invasion rock and roll).
Good Luck!

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